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Several years ago my mother preached a sermon. During it she shared some of the trials that she went through and made a beautiful analogy. She talked about gold and the process it goes through. Essentially each time you place it back in the fire the purer it becomes — 10k to 14k to 18k to 24k.
It’s something that I’ve held at the back of my mind for quite some time. Occasionally it resurfaces coming to the forefront of my thoughts. This season in reflecting on my own marriage I couldn’t help but think that my love is like gold. Most often we look at the challenges we face in a relationship as an indication of the strength it has. Going through things will most certainly show you if your love has the ability to weather life’s storms. But it will also do more.
For me the challenges that we have faced as a couple have been humbling. They have shown me that while I’m strong, perhaps I am not as strong as I think. While I have also strived to be independent it’s ok to depend on my husband. It’s ok to need him, to lean on him and to even crumble in his presence.
No matter what he will be there. There have been times when I’ve felt like I’m in the fire, we’re in the fire. Trying to navigate the decisions that come with being an adult. Trying to figure out what is best for our family. There have been times when the pressure has been so great; life has been painful but our love ever present.
Coupled with our faith in God and love for our children our love has helped us to hold on.
As we go through the fire in a way we are stripped of our own “impurities” pride, stubbornness, a lack of patience and acceptance of the things that are counterproductive to our marriage and to our family. With each trial we come out better. Stronger but also more in love and with a deeper respect for one another and an appreciation for what we bring to each other’s lives.
I find myself seeing my husband differently than I did. Having more compassion for him, more acceptance for the man who accepts me for who I am and more appreciation for the person who holds my hand on this journey. A man who does not watch me as I pass through the fire but holds my hand and travels with me.
When I crumble he helps me up. When I succeed. We succeed. And while I would love to live in a life that felt a bit easier I realize that in the midst of our trials our love is being perfected —10k to 14k to 18k to 24k.
As our love and respect for one another increase so does the quality of our relationship. Essentially it becomes even more valuable. It is worth fighting for and worth cherishing.
Each and every day I find myself more and more grateful for the gift of companionship. Although imperfect, our love is beautiful. It is ours. And it is golden.
